It’s not every day that an interview with a celebrity offers profound life lessons, but my conversation with supermodel Petra Nemcova turned into an insightful discussion on coping with disappointments. In what felt like an Oprah Winfrey Master Class, Petra touched on a topic that resonates with many of us: how to deal with people who let us down and how to adjust our expectations without losing our sanity.
During a chat at the Elton John Oscar Party, I asked Petra about her biggest pet peeve, expecting a light-hearted answer like “traffic” or “rude manners.” Instead, Petra shared something deeply relatable and actionable: her frustration with people who fail to follow through on their promises, particularly in a professional setting.
Petra began by explaining that her biggest pet peeve is when people say they will do something and then don’t follow through. This issue is especially pertinent in business, where reliability is crucial. “It sets you back,” she explained, noting that such experiences can be particularly disappointing because they often involve a breach of trust. When you rely on someone to deliver, and they don’t, it can be a significant setback, both professionally and emotionally.
This frustration is not uncommon. Many of us have experienced the letdown of broken promises, whether from colleagues, friends, or even acquaintances. In professional settings, these unfulfilled commitments can lead to delays, additional stress, and the need to scramble for alternative solutions. The emotional toll can be just as challenging, as it often involves reassessing our trust in others.
Petra highlighted the difference between casual and professional disappointments. In casual settings, she noted, it is often easier to let go of unmet expectations. “In casual surroundings, I kind of know that 99% of the time it won’t happen,” she said, referencing the all-too-common experience of people casually suggesting to “grab lunch soon” without any follow-up.
However, the stakes are higher in professional environments, where reliability is crucial. Petra emphasized that when a boss or colleague makes a commitment and fails to deliver, it requires a different approach. The key, she suggested, is to understand the nature of the lapse—whether it was a genuine mistake or a sign of carelessness.
Petra’s approach to handling disappointments is a blend of understanding and pragmatism. She advises keeping a mental note of who fails to follow through on their commitments. This doesn’t mean harboring resentment but rather observing patterns to understand whether the person is generally reliable or not. “I try to keep a closer eye on that person to see if they really care, and if it was just a mistake, or if they are careless,” she explained.
When dealing with someone who frequently disappoints, Petra recommends a balanced approach that avoids direct confrontation. Instead, she suggests mentoring or encouraging the person to find a solution. This method not only fosters a positive work environment but also provides the other person an opportunity to improve. “I wouldn’t confront it directly,” Petra said. “I would try to encourage them, mentor them in a way to say, ‘Well, what about this way,’ or ‘What if we did this?'”
Petra’s advice underscores the importance of communication and empathy in dealing with disappointments. By understanding whether someone failed to deliver due to a genuine oversight or a lack of care, we can tailor our response appropriately. If it was a mistake, addressing it with understanding can help maintain a positive relationship. If it was due to a lack of effort, a more direct conversation may be necessary.
However, Petra also acknowledges that sometimes, despite our best efforts, people will not meet our expectations. In such cases, she suggests focusing on what we can control and not wasting time on what we cannot. This mindset helps to mitigate frustration and allows us to maintain our emotional well-being.
Petra’s insights highlight a broader lesson in patience and resilience. In both life and work, we will inevitably encounter situations where people let us down. How we handle these moments can significantly impact our professional relationships and personal well-being. By maintaining realistic expectations, being empathetic, and focusing on solutions rather than blame, we can navigate these challenges more effectively.
Moreover, Petra’s approach reflects a mature understanding that not every disappointment requires immediate action. Sometimes, simply observing and gathering information can be a powerful tool. It allows us to make informed decisions about whom to trust and rely on in the future.
